Well, it finally started. Work, that is. After more than two months back in Wisconsin, I finally worked. I am officially a substitute teacher. I was hired by one of the two districts that I had really been focusing on, which is two hours south of where my family lives and where I am staying. So, when I am called for an assignment, I must commute the two hours until I am working regularly enough to warrant moving down there. It’s a catch-22 situation for me. I want to work there and live there, but I can’t live there until I am working at least four out of the five school days. It costs money to work there because I am driving four hours – gas money and wear-and-tear on the car. I’m not sure if it’s all really worth it, but if I want to work and live in Naperville, then I guess I have to get myself noticed.
Living, no – staying with my parents is getting harder and harder to do. I love my parents dearly, but have you ever lived away from home for a really long time? Even visits can’t always end soon enough. Don’t get me wrong. My parents are not really doing anything “wrong”. It’s just that I am thirty-seven (shhhhh, do NOT repeat that to anyone), a very independent woman used to living on my own, accustomed to lounging around in pj’s on a Saturday or Sunday morning, going where I want to go when I want to go, etc. Let’s just say that these last two-and-a-half months have seemed like six months! I want my own place again!
My next dilemma is if Naperville is really where I should be. I mean, I thought I knew what I was doing. I thought that I was headed down the right path. I started the process early and got things done. I became licensed to teach in Illinois. I resigned from my school district in Georgia and moved back here. I did everything right! So, why am I subbing two hours away? I’ve subbed two and a half days in the last two weeks. That just ain’t gonna cut it! (Hence the reason that I can’t move down there yet.) It’s expensive to live in Naperville. I had already settled on the thought that I was going to have to share an apartment, which I haven’t done since college. Now I am wondering if doors are closing in Naperville for a reason. Maybe the subbing (two and a half days!) is just a window that I found unlocked and snuck through it. What if I am not meant to be in Naperville? I think I could get quite a bit of subbing around this area, where my family lives. I really do. Maybe I should just get an apartment here and sub here. I could afford my own place, a two-bedroom apartment even! (That would provide me an extra room for my massage clients, when I get some up here, which I think I could do.) Yes, I would be really close to my family, but there is something really nice about that, too. I initially wanted to put a little distance between us because I am so used to that. But now I am seeing the advantages to being this close.
I am conflicted. I am truly conflicted. Do I stay or do I go now? (Yes, I am singing a song in my head. I don’t know the title or the artist, but I do know there’s a song - Do I stay or do I go now?.) I wish I believed in fortune-telling or tarot cards or that dang magic ball!!! That’s it! I need to get a Magic 8 ball. That would SO solve everything!
But I’m still conflicted. There are so many things I like about the idea of living and working in Naperville. There are so many things I like about living and working here. Bah!!! Who is writing this script?
So, I guess this new chapter is a mystery/suspense.
So, my best friend is getting married. She is a year older than I am. She has been crushing on this guy for years, so when he finally asked her out a year ago, I had no doubt that they would get married. I mean, they had been good friends for about seven years prior to the dating, for crying out loud! She is a wonderful person – kind, sweet, responsible, educated, a registered nurse, pretty, slender – all the things guys like in a girl. So why did he wait so long, you wonder? Because he’s an idiot. For real. He’s a nice guy, a good guy, but he’s an idiot. He didn’t ask her out any sooner because – are you ready for this? - that’s what everyone wanted him to do. Yes, my friends, he waited seven years because so many people thought they would make a great couple, encouraged it, teased him (and her) about it. So, like a child, he rebelled. Dagnabit. But I’m not bitter.
Anyway, he’s a good guy and I’m extremely happy that it’s happening for her. With that said, she’s a bridezilla. Okay, maybe not a true bridezilla, but she’s a bridezilla-in-training! She has become a totally different person since she got to the “serious dating” phase of their relationship, which was about a month after their first date. She never could focus on more than one thing at a time, and man is an awfully big thing to have one’s focus, so for someone like her, it’s. just. not. good. I try not be selfish in my concerns, but sometimes it’s difficult. One of the reasons I moved back home was to be closer to my best friend. I missed her. Now? It seems the only time she makes room for me in her life is when her fiancé is gone. (He is a guinea pig for science.) Anyway, back to the bridezilla part! I would never have thought that she’d be the kind of bride that she is. She is fussing over the little things. Like stamps. For crying out loud. Stamps are what gets an invitation TO the invited party. No one looks at the stamp and judges a bride by it. Argh! She is being so Type A about things. This might not sound weird, but she is as far from a Type A personality. At least I thought she was. Anyway, aside from hurt feelings here and there, she is fun to tease. Thankfully, she’s a good sport about teasing. After all, my other best friend and I have been teasing her for seventeen years! Muwhahaha! She’s goin’ to the chapel and she’s gonna get ma-a-a-arried!!! Oh, and I’m maid of honor. I’m wearing a beautiful dress. It’s all going to be good.
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