I am an optimistic person. Truly I am. I try to look at things and see the glass half full instead of seeing it half-empty. Anyone who knows me would agree. I think.
This year is no exception. My class is a challenging one, and each day I am trying to find something positive that has come from it. Today, however, probably wouldn’t be that day.
As every day that has preceded this one, I begin the day with high hopes. The students are going to start coming around. They are going to start realizing that I am the one in charge. Yeah. And, like every other day, I am sorely disappointed. It’s like a slap in the face by the large hand of reality. Curses.
My students are good students. They are nice kids. I truly like each and every one of them, even the one that sometimes acts as if he were possessed. I’m sure it’s just a stage. Yes, it’s just a stage. Anyway, I really truly like each and every child in my classroom. That’s a benefit in the purest sense of the word. Heh.
Today they were little ingrates, though. There was too much talking and altogether too much not-listening-to-directions. There were several times during the day when I had to stop in the middle of my lesson and set the timer for five minutes while they had their heads on their desks (and while I counted to 250,000). I know, it isn’t the best classroom management strategy, but it was either that or I was going to spontaneously combust right there in front of their angelic and innocent little selves. I couldn’t have that, now could I?
The end of the day came (and not too quickly, I might add). I sent the bussed students out to the busses. I sent the parent-transported students and walkers out to their respective areas. I then closed all of the blinds covering my windows. I taped up some construction paper on the window in my door. I locked both my hall door and my outer door.
Then I sat at my desk and cried.
I think I had a nervous breakdown.
Okay, maybe I didn’t have a nervous breakdown, but it might as well have been one! What made this even worse is that less than fifteen minutes after the last bell, I had a staff meeting. I cried. I wiped my tears. I cheered myself on (in my head, not out loud!), and I then got up and walked out of my room. Patsy and Katy asked me if I was okay, and I said no. The SED teacher walked into the hall at the same time as I, and she asked if I was okay. I shook my head and said that it was a bad day. It was a very bad day. Then I mumbled something optimistic like Tomorrow’s another day, though, and it’s going to be better.
I made it through the staff meeting without too many people knowing that I had crumbled as a teacher. Thank God.
Weeks earlier, several of us had scheduled a trip to Origins to have a little facial and makeover. I was going to ditch them because I wanted to just go home and veg in private – basking in my own self-pity. I decided, however, that it would be good for me to go down below to Palm Springs and get pampered for a bit. So I did.
Boy, am I ever glad that I did! What a treat it was! I don’t know to what extent Origins is located around the country, but I really am glad that it’s here! I’m not really one to fall under the spell of natural, organic, healthy beauty products. Makeup is makeup. Moisturizer is moisturizer. Blah blah blah. They gave the whole spiel while they were giving facials of what each product was made out of and how it helped the skin. I just stood there and enjoyed the show. I was not going to buy into this whole thing. Nope. Not I. I am way too smart for something like that.
Cha-ching!
That, my friends, is the sound of Maggie’s money flittering away into the grand economical abyss.
Yes, I fell for it . . . hook, line, and sinker. Dagnabit.
But it felt so good! If I hadn’t actually felt a difference, I wouldn’t have bought a thing. Everything just felt so dang good. And it all smelled good. They made me look so pretty, too! How can you not buy something that makes you look pretty? I looked in the mirror and exclaimed, “I love the lips! I must have the lips! Give me the lips!” They had used a liner that matched the color pigment of my lips and then put on a beautiful lip shade/gloss. I loved my lips! They were great! So, I bought the lips. I also had to buy the Perfect World and the Eye Doctor. Both of these things are going to fix all the things that have happened to my skin over the years. The Eye Doctor stuff is going to make the skin under and around my eyes so very firm. I’m going to be a new woman!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was fun, though! I was pampered. I spent money (which is always fun). I felt pretty. There’s no harm in that.
After the facial/makeover, we went out to dinner. It was a late night for a school night, but it was so worth it. And it made me feel so much better! I had some great opportunities to talk to my colleagues and get some moral support. They made me feel so much better. When seasoned teachers told me that they have had years where they think that they, too, have lost their touch, I started feeling better. Maybe, just maybe, it’s not just me. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll have a good year.
Tomorrow is going to be a better day.
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